Stop, Look and Listen

To make parenting easier for me, I have basic rules that I use and enforce without fail. One of them is Stop, Look and Listen.

I used to say this when we went for a walk. They were so little, just really getting to walk and run for the first time and I would gently grab their hand when we came to an alley or a street and say, "STOP, LOOK both ways for cars and bikes and LISTEN for sounds that tell you a car or bike is coming" because no one is looking for you.

As they got older, they would run ahead and I would yell, "Stop, Look and Listen" and they would come to a screeching halt and do just that.

Now they are old enough to say it to their little cousins or laugh when I say it to them. But for me, today...Stop, Look and Listen means something entirely different.

My kids are very good at giving indicators that they need more hugs or attention and I always step up the hugs and try to get to the bottom of a problem with gentle conversation. I thought I was catching all their clues, but I found out today, I wasn't. Today I had to admit that I'm human and I missed something.

Allow me to explain. Fall is a busy time for us, school, sports, dance, Sunday school all get going. The lazy days of August are behind us. We go from 0-60 in a weeks time. We still sit down for dinner together, I still give them hugs and kisses good night and before they run for the bus in the morning, we still talk in the car about anything and everything, I thought I was covering all the bases.

And, then my daughter stayed home from school "sick". I figured for the most part she needed a mental health day and I'm ok with my kids doing that once in awhile. I snuggled up next to her and let her sleep in and then I brought her to her Nana's house so I could go to work. She admitted to Nana that she needed more hugs and snuggles and that's why she stayed home.

I thought back over the past two weeks when it seemed both of my kids could use a hug. I gave them one but I didn't sit down and snuggle, I didn't sit down and read a book with them. I didn't "stop" what I was doing and really Look and Listen to what their body language was telling me.

Yes, life gets busy but laundry can wait, cookies can be bought..ok, I don't buy them but they can be made in large quantities and frozen after they are in bed.

I guess my point of this post is everyone is so busy being busy that I know I'm not the only one who needs to Stop, Look and Listen to my kids. You'll never be sorry that you did because the truth of it all, is that they are only yours for a short time before you have to share them. I want my kids to remember their time with me and feel the hugs when I'm not there to give them. To feel safe and to Stop, Look and Listen to what's going on around them and always know that their Mom has their back. I love you Max and Claire!